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Losing a Loved One

One of the worst things that happens to all of us is someone we love passes away.  There is no easy way to deal with horrible and sad times like this.  You go through so many emotions, questions in your mind and sometimes the responsibility to make all the arrangements for the funeral. Thankfully, there are ways you can deal with this stress in a healthy, productive and (although it does not seem like that right now) positive way.  Consider:

Let it Out

Give yourself the time and space to let out all of your emotions.  If you just bottle up your pain eventually it’s going to blow out of you like a volcano.  And this volcano often happens at a time that is not so appropriate.  For example, if you are out shopping or in a board meeting when you blow, it may cause you a lot of embarrassment.  So let it all out in the safety and care of your own home.  Scream, yell, cry, and be mad.  Make sure you have disaster control.  You may not want to throw things around and have a complete tantrum.  It doesn’t help when your home looks like it was hit by a volcano.

Celebrate Their Life

More people are throwing celebrations of life after or instead of funerals.  Celebrations of life do not focus on the spiritual aspect.  They talk about the person and tell their story.  I have attended events and have found them to be cheerful, happy parties with music and food.  Everybody talks about the deceased, tells funny stories and gives thanks for the time they had with the person.  It’s quite a good send off, a lovely way to celebrate this person’s transition into the next life.

Send Them a Message

One of the most beautiful ways to say good bye is to send a message via balloon mail.  No tweets or other social media messages are as effective.  Get some helium balloons, write a letter to your passed loved one (rolled up and tied with a blue ribbon) and tie the letter to the balloon string.  You want to tie your letter with a blue ribbon to show forgiveness and your ability to let go.  Once you say a little prayer or meditate for your loved one, release the balloon into the sky.  As you see that balloon rising high into the sky, you may feel released of a heavy burden.  Grief often feels very hefty but this ritual will help especially if your loved one receives your letter.

Volunteer at an Animal Shelter

After all the tears and sadness it’s good to go down to the local animal shelter and lend a helping hand.  All those animals need a little love and so do you.  Let’s face it, sometimes you need some hugs and cuddles from a cute little critter.  That helps when you are feeling sad and lost.  Also when you do some chores or give dogs a walk, you get your mind off of what’s happening, even for a short time.  Animals have a magical way of making everything better.

Help with Crystals

Once again it is crystals to the rescue.  You will need 3 stones to help you through this time of grief.  Rose quartz to remember the love, smoky quartz to banish any hard-core negativity, and an apache tear to heal the grief itself.  Carry these stones with you in your purse or wallet.  Touch them whenever you need comfort and to ease your sadness.

Get Relief with Tea

Teas are a wonderful way to help you feel better.  For generations, teas have been used as a medicine, mood changer, and even a spiritual healing tool.  This situation definitely calls for all of the above.  You need to drink a ginko-balboa-ginseng-green tea during the day and at night drink a camomile tea.  The day tea will boost your mood and energy as well as keep depression out of the way.  The night tea will help you to calm down, get a good rest and (again) keep depression away.  So grab a hot brew and feel like yourself again.

Smudge and Aroma

A little burning sage goes a long way.  When you smudge your home, you are starting fresh and letting go of the past.  This does not mean you are forgetting that person.  What you are doing is moving forward, clearing the air and easing the pain of remembering.  When you are finish smudging, open the windows and let in some fresh air.  Next, it is time for some aromatherapy.  Get a spray bottle, fill it with water and add 10 drops of lemon, orange, and vanilla essential oils.  Spray this mixture in the air throughout your home.  This blend will give your home a little joy and light in it again.

Burn a Candle

A beautiful remembrance for someone is to light a candle for them.  The best candle to light is a pure white candle.  White candles are supposed to bring peace, purity and healing energies.  You can place this candle on a mantle or by a window.  There are many cultures that believe that if you light a candle for a deceased loved one that they can see you in the afterlife.  It is a comfort to know that they are watching over you.  So go out, look for that special candle and give it a light.  Let the good souls see you.

Go Out and Enjoy Life

There will come a time when you want to reconnect with the world again.  On a day when you notice how beautiful it is out there call a friend, go out for a walk, get some ice cream and enjoy the sunshine.    You got to live for that person now.

Losing someone is never easy but it is the fate that everyone and every living thing on this earth share.  Death is a part of life.  You can hold on to the memory of those you have loved and lost.  Let them inspire you to move forward fearlessly.  Your loved ones would want you to carry on.  You hold them in your heart so make your heart a happy home.  Do that for them.

P.S. An aunt of mine has recently passed away and I dedicate this post to her.  Good bye sweet Auntie, you will live in our family’s hearts forever.