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When Criticism Strikes

Did someone say something to you that didn’t seem so nice?  Do you feel unfairly judged by this?  Believe me, this happens to everybody even if you are a famous movie star.  Nobody wants to be criticised because it can be hurtful.  But the good news is you don’t have to let it get you down.  There are many things you can do to deal with an unpleasant situation like this.  It’s not all easy but it is effective.  Take a look at the tips below to help you out.

 

Think About What Was Said

What did they say to you?  Why did they say it?   These are the questions you need to ask yourself before you do anything else.  It’s easy to jump the gun and say that this person is just being a $%#@&* but don’t do that just yet.  This person might be trying to help you but it came out wrong.  For example, “This pasta tastes bland.  Can I have some hot sauce?” or “I don’t like those pants.  Do you have a different pair?”  Now this can seem hurtful but it could be constructive criticism.  You could take this as a lesson to help you improve and do better for next time.  However if someone says something like, “You are sarcastic and condescending.  You should not be here.”  If this someone does not provide concrete examples, it is untrue, and they do not give you a solution to it, that is not criticism but an ATTACK.  We will get into attacks like that in a future post but right now let’s focus on what is constructive.

Kickbox it out

Punch Glove

Even constructive criticism might feel like an attack.  That’s why you need to do something hard-core like kickboxing, karate or any martial arts.  When you punch, kick, jump or duck you are getting out all those negative, angry feelings.  Allow yourself that because it will give you a clear head and make it easier to think about this critical advice on an objective level.  Besides, it is a lot of fun.  When you are fighting like mad, you can imagine that you are knocking around the numbskulls that pissed you off in the first place.  You go all Jackie Chan on them until their head pops off and an explosion of confetti emerges from their decapitated bodies.  Tell me, what is more satisfying than that?

Ask For Help

Sweet advisor, Karma

It takes a lot of courage and brains to ask for assistance.  You will be surprised at how many helping hands will come to assist you.  So ask for help.  Go to your most trusted friend, family member, peer or even your pet and ask how you can do better in this situation.  Whenever I need help, I ask my most trusted advisor Karma.  My sweet little kitty that you see in the picture helps me out a lot.  She is my audience when I need to practice a speech, my hugger when I need one and she helps me pick out a cool outfit when I need to dress to impress.  I know I can tell her my secrets because she will never tell anybody.   Any little helper will help out a lot.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Whenever you need to improve upon a performance or get rid of a bad habit, you have to practice.  If your pasta is too bland, add some herbs and spices.  Keep making it until it tastes perfect to you and everyone who eats it complements you.  If someone doesn’t like a particular pair of pants, then show them the half a dozen other pair of pants that you have available.  Got a speech?  Share it with all kinds of helpers.  The list goes on and so do you.  So keep practicing until its perfect and see how much better your confidence is when you do.

Make A Wish on a Worry Stone

Magic Stone

If you are feeling nervous or doubting yourself about your improvement, then you need just one thing.  It’s called a worry stone.  A worry stone is a smooth and polished rock that has an inspiring inscription carved on it.  These wonderful stones can be found in gift shops, new-age stores or even online.  They are very inexpensive, unique and beautiful.  When you find one, pick the one with a word that speaks to you the loudest.  Carry this stone with you in your jacket pocket and touch it whenever you feel scared.  Keep this stone with you until you accomplished your critical goal.  Afterwards you can put it in a spot where you can remind yourself that you can fix what needs fixing.

Meditate

In this situation, meditation will help you reduce your stress, to increase your self-awareness and to accept that whatever will be will be.  This will make everything a little easier for you.  You don’t have to be perfect, you just need to fix a mistake, be mindful of what you do and learn a lesson from it.  Here’s what you do.  Go to a quiet spot, sit and play some slow music or calming sounds.  Close your eyes and picture yourself achieving victory over your mistake.  As you and the people in your vision smile, allow a smile to come on your face.  When you visualize success, you will feel success and then success will come.

Show Them Up

px" /> Good pasta

The moment has come to show people that you have learned and now solved the problem.  This can be scary but that is why you have your worry stone in your pocket (see “Make A Wish on a Worry Stone” above).   Whatever your mistake was, show whomever gave you the critical talk whether it is your supervisor, coworkers, friend, family member, etc. that you fixed the mistake.  If they say you did much better then that is great.  They will probably ask you how you did it.  If that happens just tell them what you did.  Of course it can go the opposite way but even if it does, don’t feel too bad about it.  Just look at it as a lesson, practice and try again.  No matter what happens it is a victory either way.

You can always fix whatever your downfall is.  It will take some time, determination and the willingness for self-improvement but know that you can do it.  I find that this affirmation gets me through when people tell me that I’m doing something wrong, “Show ‘em up, show yourself, shock the world.”  I’ve had this saying follow me since high school and it’s always worked for me.  You can shock the world too.  So stand up and give your speech, show off your best new pants, make your pasta and eat it too.

Making Magic Come To Life

Greetings fun-seekers, adventurers, explorers and adrenaline-junkies. Thank you choosing to visit my blog; Light, Laughter and a Little Magic. My name is Erika but I also go by “The Oracle.” I’m a blogger and aspiring story-teller. I’ve been blogging since January 1, 2015. I’ve been on a couple of sabbaticals but I am back and looking to help others find exciting escapades.

I’m a fun-loving woman who loves a good adventure and to write them down. I’ll be taking you all on some of my experiences in hopes to not only entertain but inform. There are so many amazing things to see and do out there. Some of the things I do will involve spending some money while others will not cost you a dime. The stories I tell you can be done with family, friends or by yourself. Whatever the experience, I hope to set your imaginations free and inspire you to try some of these amazing things.
I am a free spirit on a journey and in order to tell you my story, I have to share it with you this way. But first, here are a few things about myself. I have a sweet little kitty named Karma, I live in a colorful plant-filled condo and have a lot of things that I like to do. My favorite hobbies include circus acrobatics, archery, yoga, knife-throwing, cooking and gardening. That’s right, I’m a circus-loving foodie with a penchant for long-range weaponry, and a fondness for plants. I’m also very much into meditation, music, dancing, travelling, love stories, nature, and just about anything that’s fun. Life is too short, you might as well do everything that this world has to offer.

Goals for My Blog

For me, blogging is about sharing what’s inside of you with the people in your life. My goal is to start your day off on a happy note while you have your first cup of coffee in the morning. Or, you can enjoy my blog at the end of your day while you are enjoying a glass of wine. Either way, I wish to inspire you to grab life with both hands.

What you can expect from my blog

Magic and fun. I will recommend some pretty cool stuff that should be tried at least once. You will also notice that everything I write has a bit of a mystical twist. I see the world as an exhilarating enchanting amusement park that’s waiting to be explored. I would never recommend anything that I didn’t like, this I promise you. Prepare to be enlightened, entertained and even given some practical advice.

Will you join me on a magical journey?

22 Comments

  1. Some people don’t realize that words can be so hurtful and many times it’s all about your approach. It’s so important to feel confident in who you are and try to take things with a grain of salt. I love the pointers you shared here. Sierra ~Beautifully Candid

  2. So true. Believe me, no one wants to be criticized even if they are doing something wrong, better to correct them than to criticize them. I hate when people do that too.

  3. I draw & play video games as hobbies and I take my criticism very seriously so I can improve on my mistakes. Although, I might be the only one but I rather have negative than positive criticism so I can get that mindset of trying to prove them wrong. I don’t know, it’s just how I feel because I get them often. :\
    But I agree, it can be really hurtful but we really can’t change their mindsets unless we fix the problem that they point out or just really ignore them. Great post 🙂

  4. People can be real assholes and say things that are hurtful and bad. The best thing is to … laugh. When I hear some nasty criticism coming my way (from people I know they don’t like me) I always laugh. It leaves them foaming at their mouths. 😉

  5. In the past 10 years I grew a lot and I managed to change the way I criticize others. Of course, sometimes it still comes out wrong, but I immediately realize it and rephrase it. My close ones know me and don’t get upset, but it can be difficult with co-workers especially in a multinational environment (different cultures).

  6. Your post is inspiring. Nice post here. Criticism have great impact on us and it goes a long way. Most times, i careful not to attack or crticize people because of its repercussions.

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